The Alpha Myth April 12, 2007
The Alpha Myth has been passed down for years, particularly since the feminist revolution in the 1960s. Everyone from Betty Friedan to Barbie has espoused the alpha myth. This myth states that women can do anything–which is not only a fabulous philosophy, but also absolutely true. So why the “myth” label on my part? This isn’t because I’m a cynic or an underground revolutionary (though that does sound like an intriguing career path….). Quite the opposite! I refer to this alpha ideology as a myth because according to this school of thought, women are supposed to be able to do everything and be thrilled to do so.
This is where the problem lies. The Alpha Myth doesn’t allow room for those days when you’re sick of being responsible and you just want someone to take care of you for a change. When I have one of those days, the Alpha Myth makes me feel like it’s wrong or unnatural to feel worried or just plain tired. I’m supposed to be able to do it all, right? The corollary to this is that if I can’t do it all with a smile on my face, something must be wrong with me; I must have failed somewhere.
Once you analyze a myth and debunk it, it loses some of its power. So, lately I’ve been using this newly gained insight to help me rebalance myself when I flounder. Instead of throwing my hands up and saying, “This is too much. I quit. Clearly, I can’t do it all–you must have made some mistake putting me in this role,” I stop and let myself have those feelings. So far, it’s worked well for me. Instead of making me feel weaker, admitting my shortcomings and starting to accept them as normal helps me feel like I’m back in control. To put in the words of Margaret Mitchell’s Scarlett O’Hara, “After all, tomorrow is another day.” Consider this one debunked!